reboot

Just clearing the palate, as they say... the girl has gone tilt.

Inspiration

At times in my life, of which I think I have lived about half, I've had a few precious moments of, I don't know, better than average-ness? I pulled off an A+ poem in 4th grade, painted a fine family tree in my watercolor elective, both of which my Mom still displays at her house (Thanks, Mom!) The problem has always been that these are anomalies, not the norm and not talent I could count on. My whole life has been this way and I've learned when whichever muse is yelling in my ear that I had better act quickly before the shouting dies down and I'm left to my own devices. At present, I am very happy and thankful (because it's fun when it happens) that I have a story beating me up inside my brain. It wakes me up at night, stops me mid-sentence in conversations and has taken over "me" in many ways. It's really more of a book, truth be told. I thought it was a story but when I started putting my thoughts down and forming an outline, it went way beyond the boundaries of a story. In fact, I thought I could tell the story in one book, but it is making more sense to split it in two. Now when I open my Word document (password protected, because my family is dying to know what I'm doing) I am overwhelmed with the volume of words, and not knowing exactly how they all work together. I'm going to keep plugging forward and not worry about that for now. When I'm all done writing, I'll see if the pieces fit together in a way that might make sense to anyone but me. It's "semi" autobiographical, which is tricky. Some characters I want to expose by using their real names, but then again, if they read it would they come looking for me? We don't want that, no, no. Some people will have to be mashed together and others will be lost just to keep my sanity. For now I am using real names because I can't make pseudonyms work. I'll plug those in later, I guess. I'm not thinking about publishing or any details that would be years in the future should I come up with something I would share with anyone else. I'm just happy to be inspired. It's been a while.

Re-thinking the Perfect Woman

On July 4th I went to a neighborhood party and was greeted by The Perfect Woman! I had not seen her since the ill-fated 4th of July party of 2007, that of the peanut allergy incident. PW greeted me with a kiss on the cheek and a margarita in a jelly jar. It's impossible to not like this girl. You can be jealous, oh yes, but that's entirely different.

Me and my vampire

Reading in the summer is way up on my list of things that make me really, really happy. The latest party I've come to late is that of the Twilight series of books by Stephenie Meyer. My daughter came home with Twilight a couple of years ago. I thought it had an interesting cover and was told it was about teenage vampires. Didn't give it another thought. I was very caught up in all things Harry Potter at that time, having joined that bandwagon late, as always. Then a friend mentioned Twilight as something that might fill the void left by the last HP book. I didn't give that another thought until I read there was to be a Twilight film. That got my attention for some reason. So, I picked up this "teen" book and started reading. At 3:00AM I finally put it down and went to sleep. The next morning my husband thought I was sleeping-in, but I was reading in bed despite my sleep deprivation. I was completely mesmerized by this story. Call me a sucker for the "demon-lover" tableau, Edward had me in his maybe evil/maybe good clutches. Since that time, a couple of weeks ago, I have completed the first three books in the series: Twilight, New Moon and Eclipse and am eagerly awaiting Breaking Dawn (due in August) and Midnight Sun (Twilight as told from Edward's point of view). I have also absorbed every outtake and extra tidbit at www.stepheniemeyer.com, and there is plenty for the obsessed fan at that site. I've read over the list of fansites, way too many to count. I don't dare venture there, although the creation of a clever screenname is always a temptation. But, no. How about "Cullen-ary Arts"? Stop!
Short of joining a fansite and posting my thoughts, I'm going to list my thoughts and theories here:

Bella Swan:
At first I really liked Bella. She was "everygirl". I related to her (and the author's) story of being nothing special where she grew up only to become interesting to men in a new environment. I just thought she could gain a little self image after receiving that attention. Especially once Edward got himself under a bit of control. Wasn't Bella told none of the Forks girls were good enough for him?

My other problem is Bella's attitude toward marrying. It seems a small thing when you consider it's so important to Edward. I think she is hurting him with her petulance. She seems very immature still by the end of Eclipse.

Does her name mean "Beautiful Swan" and does that have to do with mating for life?

Edward Cullen:
Edward is tricky for me. He is too perfect and that's why I love him. He is beautiful, impeccably dressed, detached, and that's before we get to know him. Once we've met he's brilliant, well-read, romantic, passionate, loyal, but also has a wild side. What's not to love? The sad part is that no human man is all of those things, I don't think. Did I cry during the first two chapters of New Moon? You had better believe it! I read it sunbathing in my yard. I kept a big wad of kleenex stashed under my sarong.

Things I wonder about:
Did Edward count on Alice's "sight" to keep tabs on Bella in New Moon? Or did he cut her off completely? I can't believe he would leave her there in so much danger. But, I guess that's where his guilt comes in later.

Should Bella "go Vampire", what (if any) will her extra skills be?

Do Vampires have sex? Or are they content having their lust for blood sated and just gaze longingly into each other's eyes?

If Bella and Edward lose their virginity together, will the author detail that? Teen books! But everyone wants to know... Personally, I think they should wait until she's bitten, it just seems odd to me. Then again, I refer to my last question of whether Vampires engage in that way.

Will Bella smell the same should she change?

Will Edward's feelings toward Bella change? Or hers toward him? Or have they "imprinted" like the Werewolves? Where's the romance in imprinting? And the 2-year-old? eek!

Dear Universe...

I'm going to compile every piece of positive-thinking-laws-of-attraction-self-help I have stored in my brain from Norman Vincent Peale to The Secret and throw some ideas out into the Universe. Just in case the Universe would like some great ideas to act upon:

Dear Universe,

It would be really great if you would:

help my friend's unborn twins grow and develop and thrive
help my other friend's cancer stay in remission
help my neighboring town recover from the tornado
help us out of this poor economy
help Mojo to not have migraines
help my Dad remember
give K-Ray inspiration and hope
help me stay balanced, fair, kind, content, honest
help me become giving, unselfish, strong and a better friend/sister/wife/mother/daughter

Oh, and by the way, thanks for:

rain
commerce
Sunflour Bakery
my calendar
dance
Fossil
Kathy
lasers
the lawn mower

Signed,
Me

why can't we all just get along?

This isn't junior high, or high school. It's not even time spent in the sorority. This is adult life, the real deal. We're both grown-ups with kids and husbands and jobs and serious responsibilities. I take what I do in my life very seriously. In my family, my business, with friends and giving back to my community I am as solid as I know how to be. My heart is in the right place, even if you disagree with my personality or methods. You don't like me, but please have the courtesy to keep it to yourself. We do have to work together occasionally and I would like to no longer have to try and explain your behavior toward me to others. We have a personality conflict, that's undoubtedly true. I have kept my end to myself, and I'm asking you to do the same.

Cougar Den

This design was made by "Mrs. Robinson", a woman who is a member of the Moms Who Love Jason club. Are there many MWLJ? You had better believe it. Honestly, I can't believe it has escaped Saturday Night Live's notice. Jason Castro should definitely be featured on Cougar Den as the object of their desire. It isn't the teeny boppers voting for Jason, as many have guessed. It's the Cougars!

(Am I a member of MWLJ? Well, I was in the beginning when they were a place to escape the droolings of the rest of his fans. Now, a huge portion of the Moms are just as twitterpated as the girls Jason's age. I predict a lot of cereal is served for dinner Tuesday and Wednesday nights!)

Jason Castro = Magic

I'm too busy to be as big a fan of Jason Castro as I am. But, dog-gone-it, I can't help it! He has had a great fanbase since emerging unknown from the American Idol auditions. We've weathered a LOT of naysayers and kept the faith all this time. Slowly people have started coming on board or at least confessing they were fans all along. I love it when that happens. MTV, who has been with me from my formative years is proving to be among the faithful. Now the lovely ladies of The View are in agreement that they love Jason. Now that's saying something!

Vote for change, America!

Tree Hugger

All of my neighbors have OCD. They are all so busy, busy, busy with their projects around their houses. Pride of home ownership is a great thing and we, the neighbors are certainly gaining the benefit of the hard work, no doubt. Maybe when my kiddos are grown I will be busy, too. For now I'm just trying to keep the old plates spinning. My neighbors to the north have a beautiful house that sits above us on a hill. They have four very full linden trees leading off from their property to two more on the green belt that then connect with our trees. It's a spot kids come to to have their senior and prom photos taken. It's very picturesque and, who doesn't love big, happy, healthy trees? My neighbor, that's who. Yesterday, as we were outside playing with our kids and not doing house projects, a truck with a cherry picker, a wood chipper and four workers showed up and unceremoniously cut the neighbor's linden trees to the ground. My kids cried and I was freaking out. I caught the neighbor on her way off somewhere and asked if the trees were sick and should we be concerned about our trees? No, no, we just decided to do something different. We just don't like how big those trees were getting (20 ft.) and we want to move our oak tree to that spot and add a few aspen. Okay, the oak tree will soon be a goner, so count that among the dead. As for the aspen, I reminded her of the several aspen we put in just five years ago that were now taller than our house. She blanched. Really? It was only five years ago? Six, max. Oh! And we cannot forget, this is the same neighbor who was unhappy with a tree on the greenbelt to the west blocking his view so he crept out in the dark of night (this is a well known "funny" story we tell at neighborhood gatherings) shimmied up the tree and hacked down the offending branches. His view was saved! The 30 ft. tree was toast and the city had to come and take it down not long after. Of course, he never confessed. Next week he is painting his house again for the third time in 5 years and I plan to sit on my deck with a cool drink and watch. And probably take a nap.

Take a page from Oprah

Things are really bothering me and I just have to share:

Magazines with sporadic pagination. Pagination is a nifty little word that I may have just made up, but it works perfectly. If this liberal word usage bothers you, you are free to write about it in your own blog. I wouldn't blame you. Why bother telling readers what page a story is on if the page numbers are absent? It's a mystery! A treasure hunt! W, I'm talking to you. Also, let's not leave out the ability to find the table of contents. W, it's you again. Take a lesson from Oprah. Her Table is on the second page, right where you want it to be. And, it isn't split into several pages scattered throughout the mag. It's a Table of Contents and it belongs at the beginning. Any second grader could tell you that.

Email has no tone. Why is that? It has caused frequent problems in my life. As much as I dislike emoticons, there are times when I want to be sure the person I'm writing to knows I really mean, "Good job the other day". No really. Good job. No, I'm not being sarcastic. I really, really thought you did a good job. :) When I read what I've written, I read it in my voice with my inflections and I can't imagine someone could take my comments the wrong way. Well, they do. All the time.

And to you, person whose "for sale" house I have toured. Do you really, really want to sell your house? Then don't ask me, in a note that has no tone, to take off my shoes! Really? I take this as a precursor to how difficult you will be to work with should this sale proceed, which it probably won't. In one afternoon I toured 7 houses, 5 of which asked me to remove my shoes or put on those slippery hospital booties. I gave up and decided my own house was perfect, shoes and all.

The Trouble With Karma

I was informed last night, of a prank played on Eva Longoria at a recent basketball game. Some high school boys happened to be seated not far from where Eva sat to watch her husband, Tony Parker play. Completely twitterpated and desperate to impress, they paraded past her with a sign reading,

"I won't cheat on you, Eva",

referring to recent claims that Tony had an affair in France shortly after his wedding to Eva. Eva said nothing but gave the boys a deservedly evil glare. When I heard this story, I couldn't help but go back a few short years to the time Eva chose to don an

"I'll Have Your Baby, Brad" tee shirt,

http://www.tshirtwatch.com/fashion/art/eva-longoria-baby-brad.jpg

an act for which she later (If I recall correctly) felt great remorse for the potential hurt she may have caused Jennifer Aniston. I wonder if the infallible ways of karma crossed Eva's mind as she sat at that game.

Attention Alanis Morrisette: that's ironic.

1974

Growing up in NW Montana, Christmas break was spent mostly indoors. I watched a lot of TV. One thing I loved doing in those days was watch game shows on New Years Eve day to see how each show celebrated the New Year. My favorite was "Match Game" because it had the year in the name. The entire Match Game marquee would float down at the end of the show, and amid flashing lights and confetti, the new Match Game sign would rise: Match Game '75! New Years Eve was spent camped out in my parent's room, me on my Mom's bed, big brother on Dad's (yes, separate beds, just like Pillow Talk) and watch Dick Clark. 1974 was a big year for me. That was the year of the World's Fair in Spokane, WA. Also, there must have been an Olympics because I remember seeing Nadia Comeneche on TV advertising the World's Fair. Spokane was, to me, the big city. My Grandma would take the train to Spokane for shopping trips to the Bon Marche', it was big. I've inherited all of my Grandma's gloves and she had a million pair. I always get sentimental this time of year. My grandparents lived next door and whenever they would go out of town (shopping in Spokane) I would spend days over there by myself, sit in my Grandma's chair, control the TV, eat her candy and make calls on her groovy phone. My Grandma had long, manicured fingernails and used a special pen with a ball on one end for dialing her telephone. She also smoked Salem menthol cigarettes, which I also sampled. Grandmas always like the weirdest things, like those pepto bismol pink lozenges. Actually, I loved them, but the Uno Bars were disgusting. I used to beg to stay overnight at Grandma's, and then get crazy homesick the minute the lights went out and she would have to walk me to the back porch where my Mom (right next door) would meet me. Grandma was such a badass, she would arm herself with a giant pepper mill and you'd better believe she'd knock out any kooks who crossed her path. I miss you, Mommy Jane!