Inspiration

At times in my life, of which I think I have lived about half, I've had a few precious moments of, I don't know, better than average-ness? I pulled off an A+ poem in 4th grade, painted a fine family tree in my watercolor elective, both of which my Mom still displays at her house (Thanks, Mom!) The problem has always been that these are anomalies, not the norm and not talent I could count on. My whole life has been this way and I've learned when whichever muse is yelling in my ear that I had better act quickly before the shouting dies down and I'm left to my own devices. At present, I am very happy and thankful (because it's fun when it happens) that I have a story beating me up inside my brain. It wakes me up at night, stops me mid-sentence in conversations and has taken over "me" in many ways. It's really more of a book, truth be told. I thought it was a story but when I started putting my thoughts down and forming an outline, it went way beyond the boundaries of a story. In fact, I thought I could tell the story in one book, but it is making more sense to split it in two. Now when I open my Word document (password protected, because my family is dying to know what I'm doing) I am overwhelmed with the volume of words, and not knowing exactly how they all work together. I'm going to keep plugging forward and not worry about that for now. When I'm all done writing, I'll see if the pieces fit together in a way that might make sense to anyone but me. It's "semi" autobiographical, which is tricky. Some characters I want to expose by using their real names, but then again, if they read it would they come looking for me? We don't want that, no, no. Some people will have to be mashed together and others will be lost just to keep my sanity. For now I am using real names because I can't make pseudonyms work. I'll plug those in later, I guess. I'm not thinking about publishing or any details that would be years in the future should I come up with something I would share with anyone else. I'm just happy to be inspired. It's been a while.