Only my tale really happened. You can ask my eye doctor, Dr. Smith. Really, that's his name.
I went in for one of many post-op appointments and to see if my post-traumatic stress was justified. I'm talking about how he mechanically unhinged my corneal flaps. (Translation: he used a scalpel and cut big U shapes into my eyes while I watched in the reflection.)
Me: You know that medicine that was supposed to take the edge off?
Smith: Yes?
Me: It didn't work.
Smith: Uh oh.
Me: Yeah, and you know that whole manual cutting of my corneas thing?
Smith: Yes?
Me: I didn't know you were going to do that. I was completely unprepared.
Smith: Really?
Me: Really. And I could see the reflection of the procedure while you were doing it.
Smith: So, no meds on board and a scary procedure.
Me: Yep.
Smith: Do you want me to draw you a picture of what I did? You're not a fainter, are you?
Me: No thanks, I've seen it, and you'd already know if I were a fainter.
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